Well, I had my brother-in-law create a little MySQL file for me, and I STILL don't know where the unsubs go. They show up just fine in in the Statistics panel, but don't update my tiny little test mailing list of 15 people. I've been over the installation and prefs documentation multiple times, and still don't see what setting could possibly be wrong.
Your screenshot of the Prefs has a Remote Lists URL of the actual script. This confuses me. Isn't the LIST the thing I want to refer to, not the script itself? My LIST has a much different looking URL (ldvtest.db.3626021.hostedresource.com), but when I tried putting that line in the URL field, any unsubs just pointed to the raw text of the SQL database, not the usual unsub html page.
If I can't do this with 15 addresses, I certainly won't be able to set it up for my employer with 7000 addresses, and that's not a good option.
P.S. I've found the "Unsubscriptions from MLM" feature, and it removed the unsubs from the list within the program, but they're still on the SQL database on the server. I guess that's the main question. How do I get that to update?